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August 7, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, the National Weather Service predicted a below-average 2015 hurricane season. So George W. Bush will just have to find a new way to not care about black people. 2. Actors Jennifer Aniston...
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August 24, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. Apple is recalling a batch of iPhone 6 Plus smartphones that are taking blurry photos. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, they look fine to me,” said Billy Joel. 2. Kentucky’s Republican Party...
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September 28, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Thursday night, a woman gave birth to a baby girl at Petco Field in San Diego during a Padres baseball game. Giving a new, graphic meaning to the phrase “seventh inning stretch.” 2. Donald Trump...
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October 7, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. Recently, presidential candidate Carly Fiorina said her degree in medieval studies will help her defeat ISIS. Said ISIS, “We have never been so offended, who allowed a woman to get a degree?” 2. In...
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October 16, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Thursday, Republican front-runners Donald Trump and Ben Carson threatened to boycott CNBC’s upcoming debate if they don’t agree to their demands that the debate contain both opening and closing...
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October 19, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. Microsoft has created a new chamber that has been certified as the quietest place on Earth. And, to keep it that way, the chamber will be screening a copy of “Mortdecai” on a continuous loop. 2....
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November 2, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. Last week, the New York Times editorial board called on Chris Christie to drop out of the race for the White House, saying he has neglected his home state of New Jersey. Begging the question, if...
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November 6, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. Arkansas has rejected a proposed amendment to legalize marijuana in the state due to errors of grammar, punctuation and spelling in the proposed bill. No word on whether the errors were because the...
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November 12, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. Republican presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson said, if given the opportunity, he would not travel back in time and abort baby Hitler because he does not believe in abortion. “So many mixed...
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November 18, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Monday, 74-year-old presidential candidate Bernie Sanders joined Snapchat. Bernie’s followers can expect a lot of messages about income inequality and a lot of pictures of the inside of his...
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